The Guest With A Cheeky Smile
by fangirlMasquerade
Summary: After being ripped from his brother's side into the deadly embrace of his once allies the Chitauri, Loki manages to escape back to Midgard. A twist of magick has him not only landing in Midgard, but right into Jane and Darcy's backyard. Proof that the Norns have a sense of humor after all... Collab with TaleweaverNLM from dA! Rated M for dialogue.
1. Déjà Vu

Disclaimer: I don't own Thor or it's characters; They belong to Marvel. Me no own. Just playing with the characters here. ;) Half of this story was done by TaleweaverNLM. Thanks!

A/N: Aaaaand I am back with another RP turned collab, this time I've been working with my friend TaleweaverNLM over at deviantART. This collab is a Marvel Thor one with the characters Loki, Darcy (Tasertricks FTW!) Jane and Thor. And can I just say, it's been a blast! Now, we're posting this story independently, meaning she's posting it to her Archive Of Our Own account, while I'm posting it to my FanFiction account. So don't fret if you see it in both places! We agreed we wanted to do this, AND edit it in our own ways, so you might notice differences between her version and mine if you end up reading both. :)

Also, if anyone is looking for a Tasertricks RP, I'm your woman! PM me, I'd be more than happy to discuss something! So without further ado, enjoy the start of this little ficlet of fun!

* * *

 **Déjà Vu**

He landed with a harsh lurching of bones, and a face full of sand. Dazed, Loki stayed there on the sand, trying to regain his senses. He was a mess, his once immaculate armor was torn and ripped away in places. His feet were bare, blistered and cracked, he didn't relish the thought of standing any time soon. But he couldn't just lay out in the open.

With a groan, he forced himself to his knees, looking around, trying to figure out just where he had ended up. He had followed the magic signature, but had no doubt that his own weak and erratic magic had thrown him off. Not far from him, he could see what appeared to be some sort of building, though in the darkness it looked like nothing more than a hard edged shadow. There was another shadow not far off, and closer to him.

Recognizing the strange shape, he cursed, reaching out for the natural magic of the planet. He cursed again, "Of all places... It would be Midgard..."

 **xoxo**

Darcy had long since fallen asleep in her chair while Jane was messing with her new supposedly magic doo-hicky that S.H.I.E.L.D. had given her to play with. It was late, she was tired, and had given up trying to get Jane to retire to the comforts of something akin to a bed. But the sudden blaring of some gizmo or another jerked her wide awake. "What's happening?" She asked blearily, trying to clear the fog of exhaustion from her being.

Jane had been working tirelessly on the item S.H.I.E.L.D. had given her when one of her computers started going off. She hopped up and immediately checked it, then rechecked it, and checked it again. "Something just changed outside. I don't know what, but my scanners picked up an anomaly outside just now." She grabbed her flashlight and went for the door. "Come on, Darcy! I don't want to miss whatever it is!"

"What if it's not friendly?" Darcy grabbed her own flashlight and followed behind the redhead. "Whatever it is it's probably as tired as I am so maybe we shouldn't disturb it."

Loki let loose another stream of curses in multiple languages as he fell back to the sand. He had made it to his feet, but every time the small particles were dug into the soles of his feet his knees would give out and back into the sand he went. He froze, as the sound of frantic footsteps caught his attention.

"Seriously, Jane! Remember the last time we ran out in the dark in the middle of no where when your thingies started screaming at us?" She huffed and followed closely behind the other woman. "You ran over a god."

"And you tased a god."

"Yes I did." The brunette replied proudly, but then shook her head. "That's not the point! We could have been killed. Like really dead, intestines hanging out of our eyeballs, our asses torn asunder."

"For one," Jane started with a roll of her eyes. "That's really gross, Darcy. And two, I'm kinda impressed you used asunder correctly." She glanced at the younger girl with a slight smile, even if she was grossed out by the girl's statement. "Anyway, we weren't, and we won't be this time." She paused for a second as they got deeper into the inky darkness outside. "You did bring your taser, right?"

"Like a fat kid brings food." She already had it in her hands.

No.. No it couldn't be, there were no doubt many Midgardians named Jane on this planet, the Norns did not hate him that much...oh who was he trying to fool, of course they did. He scrambled to his feet, cursing but refusing to fall again. Despite this, he couldn't help but smirk at the other woman's remarks. _Asses ripped asunder, indeed._

He managed a few stumbling steps forward, hopefully away from the two mortals, not that he could tell in his current state. It was terribly difficult to see with a black eye normally, let alone at night.

"Shh! I think something moved over there!" Jane whispered, pausing as she swept her flashlight back and forth until the beam of light hit something that looked very much like a tall man. "Um, hello?" She asked a bit meekly, her earlier bravery wavering just the tiniest bit. It wasn't Thor, that much she could tell, but she didn't know who could have set off her computers.

"We're Americans!" Darcy said loudly, hoping that would be a good enough statement that they weren't evil terrorists or something along the lines of that.

"I really don't think that'll help us, Darce." Jane muttered. She cleared her throat and stepped a little closer, but paused when she got a good look at the man.

Darcy stepped up beside her and flashed her own light on him, then stared in awe. "Whoa! Dude, you're like, blue. I mean literally, are you okay?" She'd never seen a blue man before, at least off of TV. She was pretty sure no movies were being made here of all places. New Zealand was a much better place to make movies at than New Mexico.

Loki winced at the sharp light, a sharp pain shearing through his brain, a painful reminder of a headache. He staggered, tying to shake the spots from his one good eye. It took him a moment to realize what the shorter woman had said, aside form yelling 'We're Americans!'

In shock, he lifted his hand up to his face, the new light, though still causing his head to pound, did indeed reveal the blue skin and markings that made his natural skin. He swallowed dryly, his mind still foggy, all he manages on the spot is, "Ah... I appear... I-I am, at the present...blue..." He shook his head again, wrapping his arms around himself subconsciously. "You don't have to look... so worried..."

He tries for his usual charming smirk, but the effect is hampered by his split lip. "I mean no harm, myself... though you may not wish to touch the...uh...blue..."

Now with both lights shining on him and after hearing him speak, Jane and Darcy both could see that he was injured, and badly. "Oh my gosh, you're hurt, we need, we need to get you to a doctor." Jane said, going to take a step forward.

"What are we going to tell them? He got beat up at a rave? Jane, look at him, he's solid blue. And last I checked, there are no raves going on here to explain away why he might be painted blue. Trust me, I literally checked earlier tonight." Darcy grumbled the last bit. Shaking her head, she looked at Jane. "Do you really want to bring SHIELD down here again?"

"No, not...really." Jane said, remembering the first encounter with S.H.I.E.L.D. after running over Thor. "But we can't leave him out here."

"Then back to the Bat Cave!" Darcy stepped forward, smiling at the man sweetly. "We'll take care of you. But if you try anything, I'll tase your blue ass." She waved her taser in front of his face. "It worked on the god of Thunder."

He barely stopped the flinch at the mention of S.H.I.E.L.D. and his brother, hoping the girls didn't catch his reactions to the names. Vaguely, he wondered what a 'rave' was and how it would explain him being blue.

Looking at the small device, and the girl's smiling face, Loki couldn't help it, he laughed. He winced almost immediately after at the jarring of his ribs, but he had laughed none the less. Both at the young woman, and the thought of such a small thing taking out his dear, pig headed brother.

"I think I'm going to like you... My dear..."

Jane didn't know how to react when he laughed at Darcy. She just shook her head and stepped closer. "You'll have to forgive her, she needs special help." She said, looking at Darcy like she was crazy. She was way too proud of the fact she tased Thor. Looking back to the man, she took a deep breath then shifted and pointed to where they were staying. "Do you think you can walk that far?"

"He's going to have to, we can't exactly carry him." Darcy responded dryly, but still she stepped over to help him stay upright. "Just hold onto us for support. It's not that far of a walk, then you can get off your feet while we fix you up." She idly wondered if they were going to have enough bandages and gauze with how bad he looked and sounded.

Though he leaned slightly away from the woman by his side he nodded to Jane. "There is no need to apologize. I find her... refreshing, and as she said... I will have to." He pulled his arms closer to himself. "I am unsure if you would be... unharmed... by contact with my skin, it is quite... cold..."

Jane looked him over, wondering how skin could be so cold it hurt someone to touch it. "Well, let's just get you inside and we'll worry about that when we get that far." She nodded to Darcy and then started to head toward the lab. "If you feel like you're going to fall, just grab onto one of us."

"Preferably not our boobs or butts because then you will be tased." Darcy said, staying close to him despite his attempts to lean away from her.

"Darcy!" Jane said, exasperated with the younger woman. "Really not necessary. I think I need to revoke your taser privileges."

"I have a right to bear arms in this country and I will not relinquish my weapon of choice!" Darcy said a little haughtily with a smirk while she adjusted her glasses.

Loki staggered along behind them, forcing himself not to flinch as each step dug more sand into his feet. Even if he were to fall, he would not risk harming ether woman. He had to swallow a chuckle at the brunette's words, yes, he was going to get along with her greatly... Hopefully anyway.

"I would never... be ... so vulgar as to do... such a thing." He said with a smirk, his attempt at a joke marred by the slight shadow of pain in his eyes, digging his fingers into some of the ruined leather scraps that remained from his armor.

Jane smiled weakly, at least he wasn't as bothered by Darcy than most people. When they were close to the lab, she hurried over and opened the door. "Darcy, take him over to that couch, I'm gonna round up everything we're going to need from the RV. You get what you can find in here." She said, hurrying toward the RV and hoping they had everything they were going to need.

"Wait, you can't leave me alone with him! I don't know what he's going to need." She grabbed Jane's arm and looked at her. "What am I supposed to get? Warm water? Towels?"

Jane wanted to hit Darcy sometimes. "Darcy! He's not having a baby, just find something to help clean him up." She said, looking at the man apologetically before rushing toward the RV.

"To be fair, in that book I read, Loki gave birth to that crazy eight legged horse, so he could in theory be pregnant if he's from the same place as Thor." Darcy responded over her shoulder as she tried her best to usher the man inside.

"Darcy!"

Loki nodded his thanks, carefully sitting on the couch, leaning his arms on his knees to try and keep any blood from his back getting onto it. He ignored the girl's remark on the origins of Sleipnir, cursing whoever had started that blasted rumor. "I would not refuse a simple glass of water, but I can assure you no one is giving birth tonight."

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught the sight of his own bloodied footprints on the floor, he winced slightly, a dark blue dusting his cheeks. "Ah, I apologize... I seem to have, well..." He nodded to the trail.

Darcy looked at him, a little confused why he was apologizing before following his gaze. "Wow, your blood is black? That's awesome." She said, before looking at him and shaking her head. "Don't worry, nothing a little peroxide won't clean up, if your blood is anything like ours." She went toward the kitchen area and got a glass of water, then got some paper towels, figuring they were going to be cleaning up a lot of blood.

Returning to the couch, she held the glass out for him to take. "The ice machine is broken so no ice, sorry." She said, before eyeing him and wondering where to even begin.

Jane hurried in about then, arms full of bandages and gauze and a bottle of alcohol to clean his wounds with. "This is all I could find. We'll have to go to the store tomorrow to pick up more if it's not enough."

"We're gonna need peroxide for blood stains. Although black blood stains is kinda cool so we could keep them if you wanted." Darcy suggested, grinning at Jane while she took some of the products from her arms.

Taking the glass in a slightly shaky hands, he gave her a wane smile. "No need to worry." He held the cup up slightly, revealing the frost crawling across the glass. He eyed the items the other woman had brought, unsure as to what some of the bottles held, but not too worried. "If it helps, I can do it myself. It is not the first time I have patched myself back together. The wounds look worse than they are, I assure you."

"Seriously! That's awesome. Jane, we found a living ice machine! Now we don't have to run to the store every day for more ice." Darcy flashed a toothy grin at the scientist before setting everything on the coffee table. "Anyway, on a more serious topic, you don't look so hot." She sniggered at the irony. "I mean, you look like crap. And you've got two beautiful women offering to patch you up. You'd have to be crazy to say no to our help. Or gay."

Sighing in exasperation, Jane shook her head as she knelt next to him. "Darcy, be quiet." She grabbed a bottle of aspirin and looked between him and it before getting a couple out. "Here, swallow these. I don't know if it'll help, but it might take the pain away a little. I don't think you're going to be able to do this on your own, so just try and bear with us and we'll do what we can. My name's Jane, by the way. And that's Darcy, which I guess you know by now. Do you have a name?"

Jane was itching to ask where he was from, and about a billion other questions surrounding him, but she had to pace herself. He looked worse for wear, and she didn't want to trouble him further by her questioning him.

Loki shook his head in amusement, before looking at the strange little things in Jane's hands. He honestly didn't know if Midgardian medicine would work on him, but he had suffered through worse pains if they didn't. He held his hand out to accept them. "I am not opposing your assistance, miss Darcy." He smirked at her again, red eyes glinting with humor. "I was merely offering a second option. As for my name, I am Lore, it is a pleasure to meet you both."

Jane dropped the tablets in his hand before turning and looking over everything she had. "Alright, Lore, we'll start with your head and work our way down." She glanced at him as she got some of the paper towels. "The rubbing alcohol will hurt but it'll clean the wounds."

"What he needs is drinking alcohol..." Darcy trailed off, then blinked at him. "Wait, Lore? Oh my God, Jane, it's Data's evil twin brother from Star Trek the Next Generation!" She squealed, bouncing up and down in giddy excitement.

Jane looked at Darcy as if she'd grown a second head. "Darcy, you really need to stop watching so much TV. And why would you even be happy if that were the case? What part of evil don't you understand?"

"Uh, evil spelled backwards is live. I understand it completely. Evil knows how to have fun." She grinned mischievously at Jane and gave a wink.

Loki quickly swallowed the tablets, and smiling at Darcy's actions. "I'm terribly sorry that I do not understand the reference, if it brings you so much humor." Loki looked at the medical supplies himself. "Perhaps I should tend them myself, I do not wish to bring you harm for trying to help me." He motioned to the frosted glass that was so cold a soft fog was beginning to roll off it. "I do not know if I could prevent it."

"You need to watch Star Trek. It's amazing. Like, an orgasm for your eyeballs amazing." She said, looking at the frosted glass. "Anyway, you can't very well reach your back. So just sit there, shut up, and let a couple hot women patch you up." She ordered, nodding to Jane as she went first and dabbed some alcohol onto a cloth she'd grabbed from the kitchen.

"You said we might get hurt if we touch your skin. So we won't touch your skin." She said simply, dabbing the cloth onto an open wound on his head. She winced, because it had to hurt. "Sorry it stings..."

Jane nodded in agreement to Darcy's second statement, choosing to ignore the first part of what she had said about Star Trek. She just hoped they'd actually be able to help and not make things worse.

Loki winced, more in surprise of the burning than in pain. "I suppose you shall need to show me some time, Miss Darcy. As to your other statement, I assure you, I have my methods, I am very... flexible." He shifted slightly, repressing a wince as the clear fluid seeped further into his wound.

"You two are very brave, you've not only invited in a very...strange... stranger into your home, you're risking injury by tending said stranger's injuries..." He murmured, more as a way to distract himself.

"Well, to be fair, we've had Norse gods running around here so you're not all that strange. We even had a giant robot attack us. A little frostbite isn't that scary when you compare it to giant robots, right?" Darcy said bluntly, not really bothered by the fact he was absolutely right about inviting a strange stranger in with them.

The sad thing about what Darcy said was that it was true. Jane was becoming a little too accustomed to strange things happening around them. "She's right... But more so we can't just ignore someone when they need help."

Darcy was trying to be gentle while she listened to Jane, but it was hard with alcohol and the guy had wounds everywhere. She did her best to clean his head wounds, stepping back and looking to see if she missed any. Then her gaze lowered to the rest of him. "About that shirt..." She grinned a little to herself. "It's gonna have to come off."

"You two seem to live very interesting lives." He looked at the remains of his armor and under tunic, silently thanking anyone that would listen for his decision to have them crafted by someone else rather than the one who had crafted Thor's. "Yes... It would seem it is in the way."

He gave Darcy an innocently suggestive look. "Are you offering your assistance?"

"It only got interesting when she ran Thor over with the car." Darcy stated, looking at the woman pointedly before turning back to Loki. She caught the look easily and gave a wicked smile. "Hell yes." She said, about to dig her heels in and strip the man.

Jane sputtered and shot up to her feet, pulling Darcy back. "No, no she is not. Maybe you were right to say you should do this yourself, you look like you have a lot of injuries in...other places, so, um, tell you what, we'll let you clean up, the bathroom is over there, we'll be over here." She had to drag Darcy away from the couch. "And I didn't run anyone over, he bumped into us." She said over her shoulder, correcting Darcy's earlier statement.

"Hey! Not all of us have a Norse god for a boyfriend, why I can't I help him undress?" Darcy pouted.

The mental image mixed with their banter had Loki laughing again, though still wincing in pain. "Well, if you insist." He said, giving Jane a sly smile, before slowly forcing himself up and to the mentioned room, taking what he could with him and leaving more bloody footprints on the floor.

Darcy looked after him then whined. "Look what you did there, I could have had a free strip show of some alien man meat." She looked at Jane and poked her in the chest. "I don't think he can fix himself up. Just look at him!" She waved her hands around.

Jane huffed and shook her head. "We don't know anything about him, Darcy. And what if you accidentally touched his skin? What if he hurt you? He was trying to warn us about that. And he was insistent, so..." She rubbed her head and glanced at the bloody footprints, before finding the puddle of blood that had pooled where he'd been sitting.

The younger woman followed Jane's gaze and frowned, walking over to grab the paper towels and starting to clean up the blood. "What are we going to do, Jane? He's lost a lot of blood, and I don't think human blood of any kind will help." She said, glancing over her shoulder. "The hospitals can't help, SHIELD would probably make things worse, and Thor's no where in sight."

"I know, I know. Let me think." Jane said, pacing back and forth, occasionally glancing toward the bathroom door. "We're on our own for now. We're just going to have to hope for the best that he doesn't bleed to death, let alone get any infections or something worse, like internal bleeding..." The more she spoke, the more bleak things looked for their guest in her head.

Starting to help Darcy clean up, she was wishing more now than ever that Thor was here, but he wasn't so she had to handle it on her own. Even Erik wasn't here to help like he had been before.

The brunette was still working on the puddle in front of the couch, a little grossed out by the dark blood being soaked up by the paper towels. "Well if worse comes to worse we could wring these paper towels out and give him back his own blood." She mumbled with a morbid chuckle. She wasn't feeling too humorous, though. She didn't know how to help him, and she wanted to.

"Alright," She stood up and looked at Jane after placing her hands on her hips. "I'll finish cleaning up here. We're going to need some supplies. It's late but that one convenient store should still be open. Run down there, get what you can. I'll get him something to wear."

"Where are you going to get clothes at this time of night for him to wear?" Jane asked as she got to her feet and started to get her things together.

Darcy gave a sly grin and shrugged. "Well, I can give him a pair of the boxers I use to sleep in. All mens, even the cute Scooby Doo ones. And those pajama bottoms that are too big? My ex's. I stole them. He'll just have to go shirtless." She smiled at the thought.

"Darcy, you need help." Jane sighed. But at least he would have something to wear until morning. She nodded and glanced at the bathroom door once more then hurried off. She didn't want to leave Darcy alone with him for long so she hurried and hoped she'd be back before he got out of the bathroom.

Loki tied off the last bandage with a sigh. Stretching a bit he winced as sore muscles were pulled and wounds stretched. He had done his best to keep any blood off the bathroom fixtures, and what he missed he cleaned, even the footprints. He looked around the small room a moment, before examining the remains of his clothes. Perhaps he still had some luck, his pants were just whole enough to cover himself, even if they had tears in nearly indecent places and only fell just above his knees.

He slipped them on, before stepping out of the room, his ruined clothes bundled in his hands. Seeing Darcy cleaning up his blood he hesitated. "Perhaps, now that my wounds have been taken care of, I could assist in cleaning up the mess I made?"

Darcy was so deep in her own thoughts she yelped when some strange voice was behind her. She looked up at at him, eyes roving over his mostly exposed frame. "What?" She sat back on her haunches and fixed her glasses. "Oh, this?" She glanced at the mostly cleaned up blood. "Don't sweat it, I've got it almost cleaned up." She said, getting to her feet and looking back toward Loki. "I have some night clothes you can wear. Give me a minute to finish cleaning this up and I'll go get them." She said, nodding to him to sit down.

"So Jane went to the only store open at this time of night to get some supplies. We really don't keep much around." She glanced up at him, trying for idle conversation. She didn't know what to say. Looking back to the floor, she finished wiping everything up and then threw away the soiled paper towels. "Okay, wait there a minute."

Dashing out of the lab, she went to the RV and grabbed out a pair of mens boxers with blue flames and the pajama pants she'd stole from her ex. She hurried back in and huffed, holding them out for him. "No shirt, but this should work for tonight."

Loki took the clothes with a smirk. "Such a shame, yes?" He returned to the bathroom, changing into the new attire before going back to the other room. "You and miss Jane live out here alone, then? Is that safe, with your history of... interesting... occurrences?" He asked as he settled on the couch again, doing his best to avoid putting pressure on his feet or back once more.

The young woman couldn't help but grin. She definitely liked this guest, probably even more than Thor and his buddies. She shook her head ruefully and sat down in the chair, rubbing her hands together as she tried to keep from openly gawking at his current state of dress. "This isn't a permanent set up for us. We were in New York until just recently, but Jane's boss shoved us here to work on some stuff."

Jane's 'boss' AKA S.H.I.E.L.D. probably knew about the attack on New York and moved them here for safety. She figured they didn't want Thor's girlfriend getting hurt in the chaos and making him mad so they shoved the girls here for safety. But she wasn't stupid enough to tell a stranger about all that.

"So where are you from? Asgard?" She asked, figuring that he had to be from one of the other realms Thor talked about and what she read from the book she got from Erik.

Loki almost told her he was, before catching himself. He could guess why Thor's 'lady Jane' had been moved from New York, and it caused a niggle of unease in his belly but he tried to ignore the feeling. "I'm afraid not. In fact, my world and Asgard are not the best of friends, I have no doubt I'd be killed on site if they ever caught me in the golden realm."

He picked up his glass of water, now only half full, and watched the frost cover the glass once more. "Never mind that I wasn't even raised on that world." That's it, just a few truths, vague enough to let them come to their own conclusions.

Darcy leaned forward, resting her chin on her palm, squinting as she thought over what he said. She snapped her fingers and nodded. "You're from Jotunheim. That's why you have blue skin that freezes stuff. You're a Frost Giant." She looked him up and down and leaned back. She kind of wanted to say something along the lines of, 'You're not very tall for a Frost GIANT', but thought it would be kind of rude and refrained from doing so. Even Darcy Lewis had a filter that worked once and awhile.

Instead, she thought of what she could ask next. "So what are you doing here on earth? How did you even get here?" She figured Jane would want to know this stuff, but she didn't know what else to fill the quiet void with than the questions she herself was curious about.

Loki gave a breathy chuckle. "Good guess, though I think the proper title for myself would be Frost Runt." He took a long drink to hide his revulsion at the name, chewing on a few pieces of ice that formed at the touch of his lips. "That is a long, and rather painful, story my dear. Are you sure you wish to hear it?" Finding the action of chewing ice strangely soothing, Loki froze another piece, plucking it out of his drink.

She smiled weakly in response, fixing her glasses as she shifted her weight. "If you don't want to talk about it, I won't force you. I'm not that insensitive." She said, rubbing her head before she hopped up and went into the kitchen. They never seemed to have much food except for pop tarts, and she was pretty sure Jane only kept them now in case Thor came running back.

Taking a box of pop tarts back over to him, she sat the box in front of him. "It's kinda all the food we have but maybe you'll be able to choke something down." She said, looking at the markings running along his skin. "So what would happen if someone touched your skin?" She asked, changing the topic.

Loki examined the oddly colored item on the cover, he recognized the name as the treats his brother fawned over but trying to reconcile the flavor 'blueberry' with the odd purple and blue item was, well, difficult. He wouldn't refuse her courtesy, however, and opened the box, taking one of the silver packets out.

It crinkled in his hands, and he was quick to open the bag and snag the pastry. He stared at it a moment while answering her, debating on whether eating the thing was actually a good idea, lack of food for an untold period of time not withstanding. "In a good case, you would feel a chill. More likely, it will freeze your skin on contact before rapidly developing into a case of severe frostbite before blackening and killing the flesh."

He finally caved to the demands of his stomach and took a tentative bite of the now chilled pastry.

The dark haired young woman gawked for a moment. Well, he didn't beat around the bush. "Well that just sounds fun." She said sarcastically. She did want to touch his skin, it looked like it had a texture to it different than a human's. "You're like Mystique and Rogue all wrapped up in one. Blue skin, and you can't touch anyone." She figured he wouldn't get the reference since he didn't know anything about Star Trek, so she moved on as she sat next to him on the couch.

"So how's it taste? Thor ate like a whole box of them the first time we met him." She stated, remembering that whole experience. Lore seemed a lot more refined than Thor did, and had far better manners. "Jane should be back soon, hopefully with more food than just pop tarts, so if you don't like them don't force yourself to eat them. Tomorrow we'll do some real shopping. Is there anything specific you like? We might have something here on earth for ya."

Loki managed to swallow the overly sweet, and all around toe curlingly disgusting pastry, quickly putting the rest back into the package. He has to take a drink of water before he can speak properly. "Perhaps waiting would be best." He manages, quickly creating a piece of ice to chew on to get the lingering bits that have decided to practically glue to his teeth.

No, he was hungry, but no where near hungry enough to try that again. "If it's all the same, I prefer things a bit more fresh, vegetables and fruit mostly." He says around the piece of ice. He doesn't lean away from her, but he's acutely aware of her closeness, and ready to move away from her if her curiosity gets the better of her.

"Figures you're a veggie type of guy. You're all skin and bones. You should try a burger now and again." She nodded, before getting up. She didn't know if they had anything like that, but she'd at least look. "I think I might be able to dig up some nuts in the kitchen." She said, taking the open package and eating off of the piece he had tried while walking back into the kitchen.

She came back a moment later with a small bag of mixed nuts. "This is all we have, sorry. If it weren't for me, you'd probably be out of luck completely. And Jane would be a shriveled up corpse." She said, handing the bag to him.

Jane stumbled through the doorway with a handful of bags then, looking a bit worried but relieved at seeing Darcy seemingly okay and their guest not dead. "I'm sorry it took so long, there wasn't much to choose from at this time of night." She glanced around to see the bloody mess was cleaned up, thankful to have Darcy around.

As much as Darcy drove Jane crazy, the young woman was a blessing to have sometimes. "Wow, you got all the blood up. What would I do without you, Darce?" She asked, coming over to set the bags on the coffee table and pull out what she did manage to buy.

"Shrivel up into a corpse." She repeated, winking at Loki.

TBC


	2. Star Trek and Tales

Disclaimer: I don't own Thor or it's characters; They belong to Marvel. Me no own. Just playing with the characters here. ;) Half of this story was done by TaleweaverNLM. Thanks!

A/N: Second disclaimer: This isn't proofread. But I think I had everything set since the chapter was already titled? lol Ok sorry for the long delay of the second chapter! I've been lazy I know. I hope more people find the story and enjoy it! Remember to check out my deviantART page (fangirlMasquerade) for even more stories with Loki and Darcy! And if anyone wants to do a Tasertricks RP I am always looking for new partners! Shoot me a PM here or a Note over at dA!

* * *

 **Star Trek and Tales**

Loki hid his grin behind a small handful of nuts. It was much better than the pop tart, though the salty-ness was a little odd. "Miss Darcy has been a delightful host in your absence, Miss Jane, though I fear she may have tried to poison me with an atrocious creation that was trying to masquerade as food. Not a very good practice at all." Loki placed a hand on his chest and shaking his head to convey his disappointment, mischievous eyes watching Darcy out of the corner of his eye.

Darcy huffed and looked at him pointedly. "Thor scarfed a whole box of that so called poison down, thanks very much. That's the last time I feed you!" She said, sticking her tongue out and crossing her arms under her breasts.

Jane looked between them, before she figured out what the food was. "Oh, haha, I'm sorry. It's all we really keep around." She blushed a little and then dug through the bags. "Um, maybe you'll like what I brought. There's some orange juice, apple juice, milk, tea, and then to eat I found...some different kinds of chips, some Hostess cakes, peanuts, oh, I did find some sushi there." She held the box up.

But then Darcy swiped it from Jane and shook it in front of her face. "Are you kidding me? You never buy sushi from a convenient store! Are you trying to kill the poor man in the most painful fashion there is? He thinks a pop tart is poison, this stuff will kill him. Dead. I once had some and was pronounced dead at the scene." She said, obviously exaggerating the whole incident.

Nevertheless she tossed the box into the garbage and looked at Jane. "This is why I do all the shopping. And cleaning. And general keeping us alive."

Loki chuckled. "That is only proof, miss Darcy, that the golden prince truly has a bottomless pit for a stomach. And you wouldn't condemn me to a life as a 'withered corpse' would you?" He shifted, settling to more lean on the arm of the couch, only to realize his glass of water is nearly empty. Thinking nothing of it he freezes the last bit and starts chewing again.

"I will remember your warning, miss Darcy, about the sushi if you tell me what it is." He was curious about the other items Jane had brought, particularly the apple juice, but he had found he was enjoying this banter with Darcy. Such a change from the droll women, and the majority of the same sex, he was used to.

Jane sighed quietly. She couldn't entirely argue, Darcy did do everything for her. "Anyway," She said, changing the topic as she looked at Loki. "We'll go to the store tomorrow morning and get proper food. Hopefully this will hold you over until then. We'll also have to get you some clothes..."

Darcy stuck her tongue out at him. Of course she wouldn't, but she was still flustered he said she was trying to poison him with a pop tart when she was trying to be nice. She took the glass from his hand and stomped into the kitchen to refill it. "Well you're already skin and bones." She shot back, walking back and handing him the glass back. She smirked as she then said, "And I had nothing to do with that, now did I? I was actually trying to feed you."

She then grabbed the peanuts and handed them to him before looking at Jane. "He's a health nut, so we're going to have to get some actual healthy food for him tomorrow." She said, like it was the end of the world they were going to have to get healthy food instead of the usual junk food they thrived off of.

Loki smiled at Jane. "I would hate to be a bother, but I find I am unable to refuse your generosity." He then turned a slightly softer smile to Darcy. "Yes you did, and I am grateful for the thought, just not the execution." He took the glass and the nuts, giving her a smile and a nod of thanks before eating a few more from the little mixed bag. He would have delightfully ate both bags and asked for more, but the faint uneasy-ness in his stomach stopped him.

He crunched on a few more pieces of ice, amused, and touched, by Darcy's antics. "If it is too much of a hassle for miss Darcy, I suppose I could force myself to consume whatever other poison she comes up with. The Norns know I've had worse."

Darcy rolled her eyes. "Oh, please. Of all the Frost Giants we get the melodramatic one." She said, waving her hand at him.

"Wait, Frost Giant?" Jane looked at Darcy then at him. Why hadn't she made the connection before, she didn't know, other than she knew she was pretty exhausted. "Sorry, off topic. Um, so, you can try the chips and Hostess cakes. Darcy, go get the extra blanket and pillow out of the RV." She said, glancing at Darcy before she looked back to their new guest. "I hope the couch is good enough, we don't really have space for anyone else."

"He could always share my bed." Darcy offered with a lewd grin, walking out to get the requested items.

"Darcy!" She scolded, face reddening and looking at Loki. "I am really so sorry about her. I think she was dropped on her head as a baby. I hope she wasn't too much of a bother while I was gone." God knows she drove Jane crazy. She picked up the bag of chips and little bags of cakes and handed them to him with a nod. "Is there anything else you need?"

"But I would be boring otherwise!" Loki called after her with a chuckle, before accepting the little bags. "The couch will be fine, I did not expect anything too extravagant when you welcomed me into your home after I showed up unannounced. And she is no bother, she's a joy to tell the truth. It has been many years since I could banter with someone who is armed at the least. Not only is Miss Darcy armed, she can hit back just as hard."

He chuckles again, before taking a closer look at Jane. "Though I doubt she is the only one who could face me in battle, I believe ours would be more a meeting of minds, perhaps?"

Jane looked at him with a weary smile. "You have no idea. Darcy is definitely...armed." She said, chuckling weakly at the statement. Darcy had a type of wit about her that continued to surprise Jane.

The astrophysicist then looked at him with a little more alertness to her eyes. "Maybe we'll find out when you've had a chance to heal up a little bit." She challenged. She never got the feeling from Thor or the others that had arrived that they could understand science the way Jane and Erik could, but this guy had something in his red eyes that told Jane he was far smarter than he was letting on, now that she could sit down and really look.

Darcy walked back in with a blanket and pillow, taking them over to the couch and setting them on the opposite side of where Loki was sitting. "Well, if he's not coming to my bed, then I'm going to my bed alone. We're gonna be doing some early morning shopping and I'd like to get a few hours of sleep. And you two definitely need sleep." She looked at the two pointedly as she folded her arms. "You because you're all beat up and need to heal." She said, looking at Loki.

Then turning her gaze to Jane, she tugged a strand of red hair. "And you because you haven't slept since New York was attacked and Thor was prancing around on the news like, well...a god." She rolled her eyes. "By the way, he needs a hair cut. Just saying. He's really let himself go since we last saw him." She said, smirking a bit at Jane. "Like a certain doctor lady I know."

Sputtering, Jane got up and swatted at Darcy. "He was not prancing, he was saving people. And he has not let himself go, and neither have I thank you very much!"

"When was the last time you shaved your legs?" The brunette shot back with a wry smile. She just loved to embarrass and tease Jane. The highlight of her day, really.

Blushing madly, Jane stormed out before Darcy could further embarrass her in front of their guest. Darcy looked to Loki and winked. "And that is how you get someone to go to bed when they otherwise won't. Remind me to thank you tomorrow for your being here and witnessing me embarrassing Jane." She said with a cheery, albeit somewhat tired smile.

Loki buried his face in his hands, hunching over and shaking for a few moments before he manages to look back up at Darcy. "It is not polite to embarrass your friends, though I understand the need. I must thank you, however, for the image of the great prince 'prancing' to do anything. You just made my night."

He had to muffle another snicker, one hand wrapping around his chest to stop it from moving too much. "You are a gem, Miss Darcy. Thank you."

The brunette fixed her glasses and flashed him a toothy smile before taking a bow. "Thank you, I'm here all night." She looked at him and giggled. "And you can just call me Darcy, no need for the "miss" thing." She said, shaking her head at his formality when speaking to her. "Anyway, you really do need to get some sleep, it'll help your wounds heal up. We'll check in on you tomorrow before we go get some not-poison from the store."

She turned and started to make her way toward the door, stopping in the doorway and looking over her shoulder at him. "Goodnight." She said, then disappeared out into the dark as she headed toward the RV to get some much needed sleep.

"Goodnight, Darcy." Loki watched her leave, before standing and putting all the little bags of chips and nuts on a counter in the kitchen, before returning to the couch and settling into his own 'bed'.

 **xoxo**

 _The ground was hard and hot, chains were painfully tight on his wrists and ankles. He tried to look around, but couldn't see in the darkness. But he could hear them... chittering...chattering... jeering, then a voice... "-" A hand wrapped around his throat, squeezing harder and harder and-_

Loki lurched awake with a gasp of fear then a sharp yelp of pain as he jarred his battered body, followed by a thump and another as he slipped from the couch to the floor. He lay there, arms wrapped around his belly, trying to get his breathing back under control. He didn't see the ice slowly melting on the couch or the blanket, as it slowly turned both darker.

Darcy and Jane both ended up sleeping like a rock. They'd stayed up later talking about their new guest, Darcy telling Jane what little she'd learned from him after she'd left. Jane was the first to wake up, and had to get Darcy up out of bed before the two made their usual routines of getting ready.

The younger woman wanted to go and check on their guest but didn't want to seem eager or anything of the like, so she putzed around and waited for Jane until she was ready to leave. "Okay, let's check on him, make sure he's okay before we leave."

"And buy green death." Darcy complained, referring to the vegetables they'd be buying for him to eat. She followed Jane into the building that was currently their makeshift lab, and both stood looking at the ice that melted away from the couch and blanket and Loki on the floor. "What, the couch was too warm for your liking so you froze it?" The brunette blurted out.

Loki jerked from the floor at her voice, eyes still a bit too wide before looking at the couch. He swallowed hard, his voice choked and tight as he forced himself to speak. "I-I apologize, it didn't... I mean... just... sorry..." He buries his face in his still trembling hands, cursing himself in as many languages as he can think of for what he perceived as 'weakness'.

Shaking her head, the intern/slave walked over to him and knelt down, reaching out to touch his shoulder before stopping herself, remembering what he said about his skin. Instead she tugged one of his ringlets. "Hey, you okay? You look a little upset."

Jane went over and nodded in agreement with Darcy. "She's right. Look, it's fine, no need to be upset over this ratty old thing. Technically it's not even ours so...it's fine." She said, glancing at Darcy and shaking her head before she leaned over and whispered, "I'm not sure if we should leave him alone. He seems...kind of vulnerable."

Darcy looked up at Jane and sighed dramatically. "Fine, I will go and slave away at the market for you so you can sit and keep him company. It's why I'm still here after all, to be your personal slave."

Jane smiled weakly. "You're not my slave." She said, shaking her head. "You stay, I'll go. Besides, how can I go wrong with that list you sat and wrote last night while we talked?" She pulled the list out of her purse. "I think you're having me buy the entire store for him." She glanced back at him then leaned back over to Darcy. "I think he likes your presence so really, you stay, I'll take care of the shopping." She whispered before she turned to leave.

Loki shook his head, giving Darcy and Jane a weak smile. "No, no it's alright. I apologize, it was just a particularly... bad... dream. Nothing to worry about." As if to prove it, he stands, only jolting slightly at the sudden reminder of the wounds on his feet, though they are many much better than compared to the other day. "There is no need to change your plans on my account."

He avoids looking at the wet couch, the sudden reminder of the skin he doesn't want to wear was not welcome.

"Shh! If she's offering to actually do the shopping, let her! I'm a slave to that woman, let me have the day off!" She said quickly, waving her hands quickly to stop any further suggestions that she should go with Jane after all. "Anyway, she shouldn't be able to mess up if she actually READS the list I wrote!" She said louder than necessary to make her point clear to Jane. "I mean she IS a scientist, it should be nothing to read a grocery list." She gave Jane a pointed look.

"Okay, okay! I'll make sure to get everything on your list, sheesh woman! You know I did used to take care of myself before I hired you on as an intern." The redhead responded to her young friend.

"And God only knows how you survived to adulthood without me. Some kind of miracle, really." She replied dryly, smirking a bit as Jane huffed and walked out.

Loki managed to smile at their conversation, though he absently rubbed a hand over his throat. He quickly shook off the phantom feelings of fingers, focusing on Darcy. "I think the same thing, at times, with my elder brother. You'd think they'd be a smidgen more grateful, yes?" He attempts a dry chuckle, though it comes out strained even to his ears but he needs this moment of distraction.

"Exactly!" Darcy nodded in agreement and looked at him with a smile. "Do you want something to drink?" She asked, walking into the kitchen after tossing her bag onto the chair. "More water or do you want to try something more exotic like milk, orange juice, or apple juice? You didn't touch any of that I see." Darcy furrowed her brow at the milk sitting out. "Actually, forget milk. Probably spoiled now." She scrunched her nose in disgust before getting a glass down and glancing out toward where Loki stood.

"By the way, you could use a brush. There's one in my bag there, you can dig it out and use it." She offered, grinning a little at him.

"Is that a hint, darling, that my hair resembles the den of some furry creature?" He asks with a quirked brow. "For if it is, I completely agree with you. I haven't gotten my hands on a decent comb or brush in months, but I am not digging through a young lady's bag." He examined one of the stray chunks of hair he could see.

"And I wouldn't be opposed to trying the apple juice, so long as it's not as potently lethal as the last thing you gave me." He gave her a wink.

Darcy didn't even try to contain the giggles that broke out from her, snorting a couple times when she full on laughed. "Are you afraid you'll get koodies or something if you look through my bag?" She asked, smirking while she poured the apple juice into the glass and walked out to hand him the drink. "Only drink from the poisoned cup if you dare." She challenged haughtily, smirking at him.

She then grabbed her purse and dumped it on the chair. "Now see, no koodies, nothing that bites, not even a...shit! I'm out of tampons?" She cursed and grabbed her phone, sending Jane a quick text about what to add onto the list. She idly grabbed her brush and shoved it toward Loki's hands without looking up at him.

Loki chuckled, taking a deliberate sip from the cup only to discover that the drink was... actually quite good. It chilled quickly in his hand as he watched Darcy dump her bag and he cocked his head at the mention of 'tampons' but, as it was something she assumed would frighten him off, he decided against asking what they were.

Instead, he took the brush. "My thanks." He put his apple juice on the counter again, before going into the bathroom to try and untangle the mess that was once his hair. He had to stop and close his eyes a moment when he caught his reflection. He took a deep breath before returning to the task, careful not to meet his own eyes in the mirror.

He let out a soft groan as he realized that, even in a tangled mess, the ringlets he usually banished from his hair with magic were back in force. He'd thought the longer length would have helped, but it now fell slightly past his shoulder, in larger ringlets instead.

After sending the text and getting a response back from Jane, Darcy put her things back into her bag and then walked into the bathroom to watch Loki try to untangle his hair. She hadn't missed how he commented he hadn't used a decent brush in months. She wondered just what that really meant.

Leaning against the doorway with her arms crossed, she hummed. "Jane will probably bombard you with a bunch of questions once you're feeling a little better, just to give you a heads up. Thor answered some of her questions, but it just left her wanting to know more." She rolled her eyes a little. "Do you know him? You talked last night like you know him." She stated, watching him try his best to get his hair under control.

"Do you need my help there?" She offered, figuring she might could help a little if it made the job easier. She doubted he felt up to wrestling with his own hair.

Loki cursed again as he felt some hair pull from his scalp. He was loath to accept help for such a simple thing as brushing his hair, but the prolonged battle was irritating wounds and exhausting muscles that hadn't been used in a long time. He sighs, looking over his shoulder at Darcy. "As loath as I am to admit it, your help would be greatly appreciated, Darcy, and thank you for the warning."

He tugged at one of the curling locks of his hair that had decided to fall straight into his eye. "There are few in the nine who do not know about the prince, I'm merely repeating things I have heard and some personal beliefs, based on tales."

Nodding, Darcy took the brush and looked at his hair. "You're gonna have to sit down, Mr. Slenderman." She said, though again, she knew he wouldn't understand the reference. Shaking her head, she grabbed some argan oil spray she'd left in the bathroom and started to spritz his hair. "There's nothing wrong with accepting some help, especially when you need it."

Humming as she started to brush away at his hair rather tenderly after he sat down, she glanced at him before focusing on not brushing over his open head wounds. "The big oaf isn't so bad. He's definitely different, but I guess that comes with the territory of not being human." She said, thinking of how he was when they first met him. She also remembered the difference in him when he left. "Jane sobered him up before he left I think." She said, smirking a bit when she remembered how Jane scolded him for breaking the cup in the diner that time.

Working her way through the tangles of his hair and slowly getting them gone, she glanced at him again. "You said you have an older brother?"

Loki forced himself to remain silent after sitting on the edge of the tub as Darcy spoke about Thor, knowing anything he said would only reveal more than he wanted. It wasn't too hard, however, as the familiar motions and prattle seemed to sooth something inside, even with the odd smelling spray.

He felt like he was blinking out of a dream when he registered that she asked him a question. "Yes, yes I do. A bit spoiled and childish, I suppose, but his heart was always in the right place. Nearly got me and his friends killed on numerous occasions." Loki can't help but let out a sad little chuckle. "I think luck was the only thing that helped him survive before I came along."

Darcy couldn't contain the grin when he said luck had to be what helped his brother survive. "Sounds just like Jane. I really have no idea how she survived before I arrived." She chuckled while continuing to brush Loki's hair, occasionally spraying more argan oil into it to help loosen the knots.

It wasn't long before she'd managed to actually get the knots and tangles out, and she stepped back to admire her work. "Hey, you look almost human now." She said, grinning at him. "For awhile there I thought you had something living in your hair that needed to be shot and skinned." She snickered. "Alright, Jane's gonna be gone for awhile still. What do you wanna do?"

Crossing her arms, she looked at him from behind her glasses. If he wanted to rest, she'd leave him alone, if he wanted to talk, she could definitely do that, or if he simply wanted to be entertained, she had a couple seasons of Star Trek on some bootleg DVDs in the RV they could watch.

Running a hand through his now untangled hair, Loki couldn't stop himself from letting out a sigh of relief. "It appears we both feared the same thing, though perhaps baldness would be better than these." He pulled on one of the tighter ringlets near his face.

Her question made him pause, he wasn't really sure what there was to do in the first place. Part of him wanted to see if he could get some more rest, but another bore an irrational fear of being left alone to his own devises for any reason. "I am... unsure. I know very little about your world other than what you have told and shown me, perhaps you would have a suggestion on how to pass the time?"

Chuckling, Darcy shook her head. "I don't know, their kinda cute." She said, tugging one lightly. "I think they suit you fine." She winked, walking out of the bathroom. "We could talk, or we can watch some Star Trek until Jane gets back. Or I can give you a dictionary to read so you can learn modern terms. Thor definitely didn't grasp some stuff and needed to sit and read a dictionary or two." She snorted and looked back toward Loki.

"We could also listen to music. What type of music do you like? I have like, a thousand songs on my iPod." She said, grabbing it from her purse and waving it proudly. "I just got like a dozen new ones the other day, too." She really doubted he'd like her kind of music, though she had such a mix he might find something he liked. It was definitely not easy thinking of what they could do when he didn't know much about their world.

"I assure you, I have no need for a dictionary though the thought is appreciated." Loki said as he follows her out of the bathroom. "You have mentioned this Star Trek many times, perhaps that is the best option? If nothing else, you will be entertained as well."

He makes sure to grab his glass of juice, ignoring the hunger pains in his belly reminding him that it really had been a long time since he'd eaten and his magic could only heal so much on an empty stomach. As an experiment, he freezes a small bit of the juice in his mouth and crunches on it. Not finding anything wrong with this, he decides it's the best way into tricking his stomach into thinking he's eating and continues the practice.

She smiled weakly and rubbed the back of her head. "Well, Star Trek is a major pop culture in America. You have to at least give it a shot." She said, nodding toward the door. "There's a little TV we can use in the RV to watch, and the beds are more comfortable. Jane at least got an upgraded RV from our last one so even a jolly green giant like yourself can fit comfortably without having to duck or anything."

Of course, he was blue, not green, but she figured she got her point across of him being tall. She walked over toward the door after grabbing her purse. "It'll pass the time until Jane gets back with something for you to eat. Unless of course you think earth veggies are poison, in which case you're screwed." She said, glancing over her shoulder with a grin.

Loki smirked, though he didn't understand the green giant comment. "Well, we'll have to see about that, won't we? Lead the way, Darcy." He followed her to the RV, though he has to pause and squint in the sudden bright sun. The heat wasn't very comfortable ether, he followed her a little closer, eager to get out of the heat and sun.

The RV was definitely a lot more comfortable inside than the camper Jane had been sleeping in before. At the very least, S.H.I.E.L.D. gave her a good one, since they seemed to deem it fit to toss her and Darcy around at whim. The young brunette walked inside, turning lights on as she went. "The beds are in the back with the TV." She said, looking back to make sure he was following her.

She was a bit surprise he seemed to stick close to her when he had been trying to keep somewhat of a distance. "I get the feeling Frost Giants and the New Mexico sunshine and a heat wave don't mix well." She teased a little, before moving her way toward the back and popping in the first DVD of Star Trek into the DVD player.

"You would be correct." Loki said as he followed her, looking around the RV. Though he only had a faint grasp on what many of the objects and things he could see did, even he could tell the machine was at least well made. He watched her, having moved back away from her again. "What, exactly, is this Star Trek? I understand it is entertainment, but what is it, exactly?"

"Basically, it's a show about these space explorers. They have all kinds of adventures, finding new races of beings, helping when they can, and trying to stay alive in the process." She explained, then started to tick off the characters of the original Star Trek.

She plopped down onto her bed (Obviously it was her bed, it was a mess - Jane's was the neat one) and looked up at Loki, pointing to said bed. "Jane won't mind. She needs a man in her bed more often." She sniggered and turned the TV on. "Now sit back, relax, and enjoy Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock as they adventure on the Enterprise!"

"Sounds a bit like an average day with my brother and his friends." He says dryly, eyeing the bed. In a normal situation, he wouldn't have considered crossing so many lines of propriety, but he recognized that Midgardians viewed such things differently and his feet were demanding he do anything other than standing on them.

Feeling more than a little awkward, he settled on the edge of the bed.

Darcy looked over at Loki and smiled. "You can lean back. Human beds don't bite. Might not be the most comfortable, but they don't bite." She paused, them grinned evilly. "Unless they have bedbugs." She said in a low tone, laughing afterward. She looked at the TV and sprawled out on her own bed, making herself comfortable much like a cat.

"So you go on adventures? Any fun ones to note?" She asked, glancing at him. It was obvious he wasn't big on talking about his personal life, for whatever reason, but Darcy wanted to know more about him. And she hoped the more they talked the more he would relax around her and Jane. They were kind of stuck together for the time being anyway.

Though he felt awkward, Loki follows her advice, managing to find a comfortable position that didn't strain any of his injuries. "Bed bugs?" He gave her a look at that, before taking a moment to think. While he couldn't tell her about any adventures he and Thor had on Asgard, he could speak of others, he supposed.

"I have many tales, though they are not all amusing. Let me think... Once, many years ago, my brother came to me with one of the most ludicrous ideas." He shot her a smile. "And that is saying something. Anyway, in Alfheim, home of the light elves, there was one particular tavern." He takes a moment, slightly distracted by the show on the television before shaking it off and returning to his story.

"The owner of this tavern was not a light elf, no it was ran by a dwarf from Svartalfheim. How he had come to be there and open a tavern I will never know, however he did. It was rumored he had brought treasures of Svartalfheim with him when he crossed realms, but this wasn't what attracted my brother. Oh no, the thick headed fool had his eyes on another prize, I will give you three guesses to figure out what." He chuckled, giving a sad but fond smile like one gives a particularly dense puppy.

Darcy had basically forgotten about the show playing (It wasn't like she hadn't seen it a billion times anyway) as Loki went on with his story. Elves and dwarves, she felt like she was talking to Aragorn. All she was missing was a wizard and some hobbits.

Shaking her head from that thought, she looked at him rather seriously as she said, "If it wasn't sparkly treasure he was after, I'm going to put my money on it was a woman. Or booze. Or...a magical weapon?" She asked, then snapped her fingers with a grin. "I got it. A magical weapon that turns into a woman that he can drink booze from her boobs. Hell, I'm not into women but I'd take that." She said with a lewd grin.

Loki laughed, shaking his head at her thoughts. "I'm not going to ask how you came up with that. You were right about the woman though, the tavern wench. Even I shall admit she was a beautiful woman, but she was also very much spoken for. Not that brother cared, they had yet to go through with their wedding so she was fair game. The plan was simple,"

He took a sip of his juice, crunching on a piece of ice real quick, "Simple enough, anyway. He planned to go to the tavern when she was cleaning up after all the patrons had left or went to bed and seduce her. There was only one problem, her promised would come to pick her up every night, so he needed a look out."

Laughing, Darcy could imagine just where this was going. "Let me guess, you were the lookout?" She asked, grinning as she sat up a little, excited to hear the rest of the story. This was definitely something she didn't get a lot of with Jane, which was a bummer. Since S.H.I.E.L.D. came into their lives, Darcy didn't get to really talk with anyone like this.

Not that she could do anything about it. Either she stayed a 'free' prisoner or was literally locked up in some super secret place S.H.I.E.L.D. could shove her into because she knew too much. Who knew someone could accuse Darcy Lewis of knowing too much.

"Correct." Loki chuckled, shifting a bit and taking another drink. "While my thick headed brother was inside trying to persuade the lovely woman into bed, I was outside by the door. Not that it wasn't so bad, he'd bribed me with a nice bottle of local wine to stand there. I was through half of it when the intended showed up." Loki couldn't help snickering, just thinking about what happened next.

"Now I shall tell you, despite my own skills, I am not about to go against someone much taller, and much larger than me just so my brother could have some fun. We looked at each other for a few moments before I said, 'I'm just the lookout.' and promptly stepped aside and the male barged in. I could hear my brother shouting and the other's roar of anger before my brother landed face first in the dirt at my feet."

He could barely get the next bit out, it was one of his favorit memories really. "Being the kind and considerate brother I am, I knelt down to help him up and he growled at me, of all things. 'You were supposed to warn me' he said, I'm afraid I couldn't stop myself, saying in reply, 'But I did warn you.' 'You did not!' he bellowed. 'But I did, yesterday, when I told you this whole mess was foolish.'"

Loki snorted in laughter. "He wasn't very happy with me, as you can guess."

TBC


End file.
